Isn't It Ironic? No it is not!

Is it ironic that I'm seated next to the bucket of sloshing blue liquid that the Martz Bus Company defines as a toilet?

No.

It was the best seat available. It is a punishing coincidence that my personal number 2 (dump) schedule is out of wack. Was not able to let go of the usual pre-ACF deposit.

Back to irony. Why do we fall for and embrace this cheap-assed device? I'm the first to admit my addiction to both irony and satire. I'll take on satire another day, the other crutch to hide from reality or the possibility of original thought.

I just need to hang on to my shit until I get to the comfort of the handicapped stall at the gym's bathroom. The noise of people getting fit will camouflage my ability to let it all out. I predict 50 minutes until blast off.

Not many things can be more direct, or more real than having to take a shit. An absolute lack of irony exists in my current predicament. Only the rising tide of nature ticking away. To have to use the sloshing bucket of a toilet on the bus or hanging on for comfort, cleanliness and defecation harmony and bliss.

(note: below another pet peeve pointed out to me by a subway haircut aficionado. The cheezy device of using dictionary definitions in driving home a point.)

i·ro·ny1 /ˈaɪrəni, ˈaɪər-/ [ahy-ruh-nee, ahy-er-] –noun, plural -nies.

1.the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

2.Literature. a.a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.

I just need to crap. Now.